No Place Like Home

There's just something about airports. Something about them that creates butterflies in your stomach, immense anticipation, tears of joy, and sometimes tears of sadness. But I think it's being "on the other side" that makes airports one of the happiest places to be. It's a place of reunion. A place of complete joy, waiting patiently (or maybe impatiently) for a loved one to come walking around the corner... Colorful signs with the names of those arriving, little ones clenching their fists, squirming and ready to burst with excitement. And then the run! The beloved has been spotted and the long awaited moment has finally arrived.

Airports remind me of how heaven will be... the arrival of those coming Home to Glory. When we finally meet our Maker face to face and those who have long awaited sweet reunion. ...When Christ comes back for us, to take us Home. Oh what a day that will be!

As many of you know, I spent my second summer with Worldview Academy this year, and each experience only seems to be sweeter than the last! Now I know it's October, and camp ended nearly 3 months ago. Nonetheless, it's all coming in bits and pieces... =)

 It was week 5 and we were headed to Grove City, PA for Camp #4. God's grace was truly sufficient during weeks prior. There were many battles and He was indeed faithful! But nothing could have prepared me for the week to come. From the moment I shook four of my girls hands in the hallway, my heart overflowed with joy. "These are my girls..." I gasped inside. By Friday, I was humbled to pieces after contemplating the precious memories made with these 9 faces of grace. But the hurt came that day as we packed up and left. There were many tears as I hugged each one goodbye.

It's difficult, looking back and telling how God changed my life through that week of camp. That next van ride was filled with devastation, hurt, pain, and feeling frustrated with God. "How could you allow such a deep love for these girls to grow in my heart, knowing that I would have to say goodbye in just 6 days?" I didn't understand. Never had I experienced such a refreshing, inspiring, and overwhelming week of sharing life with these students.

But the remaining weeks of camp would reveal that answer. For me, camp is "Narnia" -- a place where I glimpse a taste of heaven. I long for this place. And this summer was definitely the same, but I dealt with much more pain and loss. A piece of my heart had been taken by these girls and now suddenly was no longer mine.

In C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce, heaven is described with grass too sharp for human feet ("as hard as diamonds"), apples too heavy to pick up, and waterfalls that pierce the human ears. How could such a perfect place, a place of perfect unity, be so painful? The answer is that we (as humans) are not ready for such a place. Scripture says that we will receive new bodies for our new Home in heaven. If camp is a glimpse of heaven, we glimpse a taste of that perfect love... a place of unity, united with our brothers and sisters in Christ, worshiping at the Throne of our Maker.

But it's only a glimpse. At some point, we have to come back through the wardrobe. And it is a very painful process to come back to reality. This life will never compare to our abundant life in heaven. Dorothy had it right when she said, "There's no place like home!" When those glimpses suddenly end, we feel hurt and disappointment. But their purpose is to encourage us, to excite us and create that same anticipation found in airports --- anticipation that makes us long for home!

During those precious moments of glimpsing eternity, Christ desires for us to run to Him, praising Him for such a gift! "Weeping may stay for the night, but joy will come in the morning." My girls showed me heaven... as we ran in thunderstorms, threw pillows in the dark, laughed 'til we couldn't breathe, discussed theology in "secluded" gardens, and sat on the sidewalk crying and wishing camp didn't have to end. But our response to this hurt can be a glorious thing! We must fix our gaze on Him who makes all things new, resting in His perfect grace.

SDG

Adventures Begin

On August 27th, my long-aspired journey began. I'm overwhelmed with joy and unworthiness as I praise God for such a calling to pursue ultrasound as my career. I thought I'd share with you guys this new season of rejoicing! It has been long-awaited and it's crazy to think that it's finally happening -- everything I'll be learning is what I've been wanting to do for the past 7 years!
The goal of and desire for this pursuit is to glorify God through loving, cherishing, and protecting life. I believe God has called me to use my career to do just that! I will be attending Mayo Clinic for the next years pursuing a degree in Diagnostic Medical Sonography. I am one of two students and the training that I will receive is above and beyond anything I could ever imagine! I'm so excited and look forward to the challenges and joys that lie ahead. This God-given passion will drive me as I embrace this journey! I praise my Lord and Savior for allowing my life to influence the lives that are yet to be.

To God be the glory!

Grace - Dependent

I never thought one week -- one simple (well, far from simple) week -- could paint such a perfect picture of grace. Early last Thursday morning, before starting my day, I wrote this post:
Lord, in my times of weakness and pain, You remain sovereign. In my lack of understanding, You remain sovereign. In my times of fear and doubt, You remain sovereign. In circumstances that allow me to realize I'm not in control, You remain sovereign. I praise you, Lord, for You are sovereign - and just as Your love endures forever, Your supreme power, authority, and perfect Will shall endure forever. Give me strength to listen to that gentle voice that whispers, 'Do not fear! I am the Lord!'

As I drove to my babysitting job, I received a phone call from my mom that my sister would be admitted into the hospital immediately to begin treatment for a disorder we had no idea how to pronounce. I thought the beginning of the week could have prepared me for this, but I was wrong. The night before, I sat in the laundry room crying and praying to the Lord for answers. My sister had an emergency visit, numerous blood tests, a spinal tap, and doctor visits with neurologists and ophthalmologists. We were anxiously waiting for answers and finally got what we asked for. She began her treatment for the next two days, bravely enduring the uncomfortable setting of a hospital room. I can think of no better example of someone who courageously endures pain like my sister! And, PRAISE GOD, Kelly is progressing and her treatment seems to be bringing her body back to normal.

I'd like to say that this past week was given to the Lord, that all my fears were absent because I was trusting that God would carry us through this trial. But unfortunately there were nights that I cried myself to sleep... wondering what was wrong with my sister and if she would ever be able to live a normal life again. Some may call this ironic, but I call it the sovereign work of God... my dad started a series on James just two weeks before this unexpected week. That Sunday, we read James 1:13-18. To refresh your memory, James is talking about trials and sufferings -- how we are to count them all JOY, "for this is God's will for you." James says that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness. And this steadfastness leads to making us perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Later in chapter one, James talks about temptation, and how each one of us is tempted by our own evil desire. The temptation, as part of our own sinful nature, is to become anxious - reflecting a heart that depends on self and not on Christ. This is the default. Notice in the verses James uses the word "lured," ...an attraction... an attraction of self. "Our struggles are tailor-made by our own desires." It's a natural weakness. It's an "enticement" of something seemingly attractive, but actually quite deadly. Our instinctive desire is to fix things ourselves, especially during trials. In verse five, James takes a seeming detour, and starts talking about wisdom. I think you would agree that we certainly lack wisdom in the midst of suffering, as we ask God the resounding question, "WHY?" When asking that question, we fail to give our burdens to the Lord - we fail to respond with a heart of surrender (the heart of Christ) .

So, what do trials and suffering, steadfastness, wisdom, and now this temptation all have in common? As I read these verses, I can't help but reflect on this past week. My default (my temptation; my own evil desire) is to depend on myself during trials. I try so diligently to figure out how I can fix the situation... thinking that somehow all my worries and tears will amount to a brilliance I could never imagine. As irrational as it sounds, it is my biggest temptation. And unfortunately, I give in to that temptation often. This temptation is the presence of fear, and the absence of trusting God and giving those fears to Him.

I go back to the post I wrote:  God is sovereign! There is nothing that happens outside of his perfect control. I rest in that. He orchestrates our life to bring Him glory... I am so grateful that I serve a God who does not stand back and watch things happen. He uses all things to bring Him glory. For He is FAITHFUL. He reigns supreme, with glory and power, on His throne of grace.

Grace. Perhaps there is no other word that better describes the Christian life. We are so dependent upon it. I realized that this week... he so faithfully covers me with grace as I run my race. Even in the midst of my fear and many tears, he whispers, 'DO NOT FEAR! I am the Lord!' God's grace IS SUFFICIENT! We can rest in his grace!!!

My dad ended his Sunday school lesson with a quote, "Every problem is an opportunity to depend on His faithfulness." The day my mom told me Kelly was going to the hospital, she had to hang up rather quickly. I called a dear friend and spent 15 minutes listening to her sweet words as she prayed. The theme was "God is faithful!" (Who would have thought??) He IS our healer. He IS our shelter in the time of the storm. He IS the giver of grace. He IS the "lifter of my head" in times of worry and doubt. He IS always present, and promises to never leave us nor forsake us.

I run to the foot of the cross... where I fall on my knees, crying, "Lord, I surrender my fears to you. Lord, you are faithful and you are Sovereign... and I am grace-dependent -- dependent upon YOUR grace alone."

"For every good and perfect thing is from above, coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." - James 1:16-17

SDG

Bold Whispers

I was excited. I had not worked as the dining room hostess in months. (For those of you who don't know, I have worked at Chick-fil-A for almost two years now.) The shift I had originally been scheduled for, I had traded with someone else. I was thrilled with my opportunity! - one I had been greatly missing. The day seemed normal... not too busy, keeping up with tables, refreshing beverages, clearing trays, mopping spills... as I made my rounds checking in with guests, I was pleasantly surprised as I heard a voice from the table in front of me, a high-pitched squeal of joy, "My name is Emily too!!!!" I had recognized the family --- a father with his two Chinese (I believe adopted) daughters. I'm filled with indescribable joy whenever I get to see them. Emily and Hannah are the names of these sweet faces. The lunch rush continued, and I was able to chat with the girls every so often, get their ice cream, etc. (I love my job!!)

As they made their way to the door, getting ready to leave, I was suddenly embraced around my legs by Emily as we said our goodbyes. "I get a hug today!!", I joyfully exclaimed. "And one from Hannah too!" Hannah ran as I bent down to embrace her tiny body. Waving goodbye to their dad, I was surprised by another gift... Emily suddenly grabbed my arms and pulled me down to her level. She placed her soft cheek to my ear, smiling, and whispered, "Emily, do you love Jesus?"

I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes, my throat swelling. I looked into her eyes, smiling from ear-to-ear. Among the chatter-filled dining room, it felt as if we were the only two in the room... "Yes, I love Jesus!" Instantly, she gasped, and exclaimed in exuberance, "You do??!!"

I've never seen such joy on a 7-year-old's face. She ran to her daddy and shared her joy, "Daddy, Emily loves Jesus too!!!"

I can barely share this story without crying. There is no doubt in my mind that God had planned that divine appointment with Emily. It has made this new year one like any other. How many times have I asked someone if they love Jesus? Is my response, if asked the same question, completely honest? Does my life reflect one that loves Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? Is Christ an ever-present joy that causes me to run and tell others of this joy?

Resolutions are a wonderful thing. But this year, mine is so much more meaningful... living a life that loves Jesus, allowing my life to be one like Emily's: sharing that joy with others... making the most of every opportunity - those divine appointments - for the glory of God. I love how the most mundane circumstances are the ones that God uses to bring glory to Himself... causing the heart of Chick-fil-A dining room hostess to overflow with joy because of the bold whisper from the mouth of a child. Today, this year, I praise God for sweet whispers of Jesus' name... My heart is overwhelmed and I am inspired to be bold, grasping the arms of others in order to share Jesus with them.


SDG